I can't even pretend otherwise—this is a monumental happening in my sad little world. I literally made a public plea for this YEARS ago, and now, in the year of our coronavaccine 2021, my prayers have suddenly and miraculously been answered out of the clear, wondrous blue. Yes, as you can see below, DR. PEPPER ZERO SUGAR is a very real, not at all imaginary product that I have held in my own grubby hands and poured gleefully down my Pepper-hole, as I call it:

As far as I can tell, this is not a replacement for Diet Dr. Pepper, but rather an added, separate alternative. And as much as I never thought this possible, I am here to say on the record that it is in fact better. It actually tastes MUCH closer to regular Dr. Pepper. In other words, it's kind of a miracle in a bottle.

But wait ... where does this leave my beloved, holy grail beverage DIET DR. PEPPER & CREAM SODA? Oh, this is where things get even more insanely, orgasmically incredible: The Dr. Pepper gods have gone and created DR. PEPPER & CREAM SODA ZERO SUGAR!!!!!!!!! (They did it with Cherry too, but one thing at a time here.) 

OK, so I have NOT had the undoubtably jizz-tacular pleasure of sampling this yet, but it seems to be abundantly available, so rest assured I will very soon. And I'll report back.

In the meantime, all I can say is this is shaping up to be one unexpectedly fabulous year for the ol' Scrog. Here's to hoping things continue on this trajectory.