Just What the Dr. Ordered

Yes, it's dark times and all that, but there can still be rays of sunshine, and this past weekend provided me a much-needed one. I paid a visit to the 7-Eleven down the street, and what to my wondering eyes did appear in the soda cooler but this newfangled concoction to the left of DR. PEPPER & CREAM SODA.

Everyone knows how much I worship Dr. Pepper, but what many may not know is that cream soda ranks almost as high on my scale of exquisite libations. The combination of the two is almost too much for my delicate soul to withstand. It is the Natalie Portman making out with Mila Kunis of soda hybrids.

And yes, oh yes, it delivered on its almost impossible promise. The only thing—and I mean the ONLY thing—that could have made it more orgasmic would be if Dr. Pepper had worked out a deal with Dr. Brown's and produced THE ULTIMATE DR. PEPPER CREAM. Or something.

I'm probably going to masturbate now.