Some BRAND New 'Contemporary Songs'

If there's one thing I like, it's contemporary songs. Well lucky for me, my pal Carlos over at Scribe Services PR has a client by the name of Kenny Brand who just put out an album called—you're never gonna believe this—"Contemporary Songs."

(Side note: see how I worked in the dude's name to the headline all pun-like? Take a lesson, crappy headline writers!)

So another thing I like, it just so happens, is stuff that tells you exactly what it is right up front, with no punches pulled. It makes me feel good to know that if I pick up a copy of "Contemporary Songs," I'm not going to pop it in and be assaulted by any donkey-shit old-timey songs. Hell to the no! You know how I can be sure of this? 'Cause it's right there in black and white on the cotton-pickin' album cover, man. I want my songs contemporary, and that's exactly how "Contemporary Songs" is gonna give 'em to me, goddamit!

Now it should be noted that Brand is the composer of the contemporary songs on "Contemporary Songs," not the performer. However, wait'll you get a load of who DOES put the contemporary in these songs! According to Carlos' press release, that would include "some of the biggest names in pop and rock music such as Ellis Hall, renowned vocalist for Tower of Power; Thin Lizzy bassist Marco Mendoza; famed California Philharmonic percussionist Ronnie Gutierrez; renowned vocalist Shea Chambers and many others."

Now that's what I call contemporary! There are 10 contemporary songs in all to be savored upon this smorgasbord of contemporariness. Until, I suppose, the time comes when they are no longer contemporary, and then this entire album will become ironic. But for now, "Contemporary Songs" is totally contemporary, and can be found at KennyBrand.com, Amazon.com and a few other places where one typically finds songs (and/or CDs containing them).

Pictured: Kenny Brand (who I gotta say, don't look all that contemporary).