"Something in my chest feels gaseous. What the fuck. Is it from skipping my meds a day? From getting so little sleep the past two days? From smoking that cigar with James Deen and consuming copious amounts of alcohol in those same two days? From my disgusting diet every day? I can't function in this state. What do you take for chest gaseousness? What am I going to write about the XRCOs? What I'd really like to write is, 'It was noisy and now I feel like I have to fart, the end.' Ann Marie is so wonderful. Fucking car shit. When are they gonna invent beaming machines already? I have no sandwich meat and no transportation to obtain any. I need a five-day weekend. And some kind of medication for ... obsessive/acute scatter brain? The toilet nap! Now that's an idea worth exploring."
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