A Chat With Acme Andersson About Jelly Beans and Continuing Education

I've known Acme Andersson for some five-odd years now. (And if you don't know Acme, you don't know squat, I say, so I'll let you look him up on your own if that's the case. Also, I'm lazy.) Over those five-odd years, Acme and I have had many an epic IM chat. Some have been suitable for public display, others not. Here's one that was:

Scrog: guess what i just got in the mail
Acme: my butt
S: better
A: i don't know
A: a chicken
S: nope. Dr. Pepper flavored jelly beans!
A: i've had mr. pibb flavored, i liked those
A: you speak-a the hebrew?
S: not especially
S: i need no hebrew to get by.
A: well, it couldn't hurt. you never know when AVN will start publishing a Hebrew edition
S: good grief. this BTS I'm watching has three of the hottest chicks in the biz manhandling PA Nate's cock.
A: you should be a PA
A: SMC is $20/unit! that's crazy!
S: blimey!
A: and there's a carl's jr on campus!
S: it's like heaven!
A: indeed, it is dreamy to the struggling college student like myself
S: you going for a master's in hebraic studies?
A: well, i considered it. i think i'll start off w/ some general classes. maybe a film studies class and a business class or web design--so much to learn!
S: film studies...pshaw. the only way to study film is to watch as many of them as you can.
A: that's what they do
A: watch, discuss. i like watching and discussing hitchcock films.
S: yeah, but why shell out the dough to do that in a classroom?
A: i enjoy schooling
S: well, that makes one of us.
S: the school of life - that's where it's at, man.
A: this is part of it. it's school within life.
S: i see. you've gotten me on a technicality, you wily bastard.
A: thank you, university studies!