A First

This morning, I actually slept through my alarm clock. I always thought I was completely incapable of this, but now I've learned otherwise, much to my chagrin. Here's the exact internal dialogue that went through my head as I came to this realization in my mostly still-slumbering state: "Did my alarm go off already and I totally slept through it? No way. But it does seem like it should have gone off by now. Nah, I'm imagining things. Still, I feel like I heard it go off, and now I don't hear it. Did I dream that? I should check. No, no, no, I'm just being paranoid, I'm sure it's about to go off and I'll be telling myself, 'See, told you so.' But I really should check just to be sure. Only then I'll see that it's like a minute from going off and be pissed at myself for throwing away that extra minute of lying here all toasty and asleep. ... What would be worse, though, losing that extra minute of toasty asleepedness, or continuing to just snooze away and finding out later that not only did I sleep through my alarm clock, but way, way past it, making me much later for work than I'm already going to be? Oh, shut up, you're being retarded, there's no way you slept all the way through an entire hour of alarm. Yeah, I don't know, I realllly ought to check. OK, OK, I'm checking."

[Pause ... checking ...]

"Fuck."

(Ed. note: That's probably not the exact dialogue the went through my head, but pretty damn close.)