Land Shark Attack Bulletin

Land Shark is a person in my life who plagues my very existence with relentless comments and actions that take great, big, gaping bites out of my soul. My log of LS's latest strike:

So Land Shark finds out that I'm reviewing Kimberly Kane's new directorial effort, Morphine, and asks what I think of it. "It's incredible," I say, to which LS replies, "Figures." I shrug, and LS blurts out, "Pardon me if I question her genius 'directing' talents," throwing up finger quotation marks. "The only thing that whore's ever directed is a cock into her asshole." A second later: "She do anal in it?" Me: "No." LS: "Pft. Worthless. Hey, mind if I have some of your Twizzlers?"